A Theology of Caregiving |Part 1
What is Caregiving and Why Do You Care?
Caregiving. Just what does that mean? It’s a term we increasingly hear in casual conversations. If you are over 40, it’s becoming a reality. If you are a Boomer (born after 1946), it is more than likely something you are juggling and grappling with.
Caregiving comes in all shapes and sizes
Most often, it involves an adult “child” caring for an aging or ill parent(s) or spouse. Occasionally, it may involve a parent caring for a chronically disabled adult son, daughter, or sibling. Sometimes it involves grandparents caring for grandchildren abandoned by their parents. Less frequently, it may include caring for a “neighbor,” that is, a person not related to you but for whom you take on some level of care. Sometimes, it means all of these at once.
It may mean caring for this person (or persons) in your own home or taking on some level of responsibility for a person in their home or a care facility. Increasingly in America, it means long-distance caregiving where the person you are responsible for does not live in your community.
63 Million Family Caregivers
Most caregivers in America are what is known as family caregivers. According to the National Alliance for Caregiving, a leader in research around family caregiving issues, there are approximately 63 million Americans—1 in 4 adults—providing ongoing care for older adults, people with serious illnesses, or those with disabilities. That’s an increase of 20 million since 2015, revealing a caregiving crisis that’s been hiding in plain sight. These people provide important societal and financial contributions toward maintaining the well-being of those they care for.[1]
An AARP study estimates the value of the voluntary, “unpaid” caregiving service. In 2024, 59 million caregivers of adults provided 49.5 billion hours of care at an average value of $20.41 per hour. The economic value of family caregiving exceeded the total amount of federal, state, and local Medicaid spending in 2024 ($932 billion).[2]
These family caregivers are hidden in almost every family, church, and neighborhood. Chances are you know at least one family caregiver—if you aren’t one yourself.
Caregiving can take many forms, as I will discuss in this series. Caregiving is deeply informed by one’s theology—by what one believes about God, the imago dei, life, and purpose. In fact, caregiving cannot be divorced from who you are and what you believe. It is, at best or worst, an extension of one’s theology, one’s faith, and one’s willingness to “be” in this role and be shaped in this crucible. This series will explore my theology (or ethic) of caregiving, which it turns out, is intrinsically integrated with who I am or want to be as a person. Sadly, I’m not there yet, but I see the path and know what direction I’m to walk. But none of this makes sense without a brief understanding of my story.
My Story
The concept of caregiving crept upon me so slowly, so subtly, that I wasn’t even aware of it. It was probably in the late 1990s that I began to notice that visits to Mom and Ed (my stepdad) were increasingly concerning. I could see that they were aging. Then they became more frail. I insisted they buy long-term care insurance. They balked but did so. Good thing, because in 2005 Ed fell and broke his ankle. This led to two years of hospitalizations, nursing homes, and care homes. Mom wanted to bring him home but was clearly too frail to care for him. When she would try, they would both fall and need to call 911 for help.
With none of their children nearby, it became scary. Ed’s children lived even farther away than I did. Being Mom’s oldest, I gradually got more involved. When I didn’t like what I was hearing about Ed’s medical care, I started going to their home, four hours from ours, to attend medical appointments and case conferences, and to manage anything else either of them needed.
Stepdad
By the time Ed died at age 92 in 2007, Mom was exhausted and even more frail. She had lost 20 pounds. Caretaking, even with him in 24-hour care, had depleted her. I continued my monthly trips and added daily phone calls. Before I knew what had happened, I was a long-distance caregiver.
Mom
Mom continued living independently, but I continued the monthly trips to manage medical appointments and just to keep an eye on her. Then, in 2012, she fell and broke her hip. Due to Medicare restrictions on skilled rehab, she never regained her ability to walk without a walker. We moved her to assisted living, where her world shrank exponentially. I continued the monthly trips, increasing to about a week per month to manage everything as she became more frail and less able to handle more than one appointment per day. She passed in 2016 at the age of 95.
Sister
Meanwhile, in 2010, my sister developed sores on the lower half of her body. She was already almost paralyzed from the waist down because of a back problem, and as the sores developed and spread, she experienced several useless hospitalizations. Since she lives near Mom, I started getting involved in her care between the 3rd and 4th hospitalizations. I stepped in and got her admitted to a better hospital and then stayed with her for several days while we entertained a parade of specialists who tried to diagnose the source of the sores.
Long story short, it turned out her aorta was 99% occluded from the waist to mid-thigh bilaterally. The lack of circulation was identified as the cause of the sores. However, they also found clots in and near her heart, so they couldn’t operate. They discharged her to a nursing home on Coumadin to thin the clots. Meanwhile, the sores spread, with some several inches long and wide, down to the muscle. I continued to advocate for her and stay with her during several more life-threatening hospitalizations. She finally got the bypass surgery she needed in 2012, but there were other surgeries and hospitalizations that I would also oversee.
Husband
Also in 2010, my husband was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. That began a massive series of medical and mental health appointments. He was pretty self-sufficient until after COVID, then began to decline. At this point, he’s barely walking. I have paid caregivers about 20 hours per day, five days per week. Even with all the help, my days are consumed with managing him, his appointments and meds, and the caregivers.
Neighbor
Meanwhile, a former neighbor we have invested much time and energy in over the years made some very bad decisions and was on the verge of homelessness. He has several mental and physical disabilities. Bob and I jumped in to try to help him, coordinating both people at church and in the County to provide him with a safety net. When his medical needs became too serious to handle in an apartment, we got him admitted to a nursing home, where he has been since 2014. I have continued to manage his care, even after we moved out of state. What is our responsibility to our neighbor?
[1] “Caregiving in the U.S. Research Report,” National Alliance for Caregiving, http://www.caregiving.org/research, July 2025, accessed 07/07/26.
[2] Ari Houser, Selena Caldera, Brendan Flinn, & Rita Choula, “Valuing the Invaluable 2026,” AARP (March 26, 2026), https://www.aarp.org/pri/topics/ltss/family-caregiving/valuing-the-invaluable-2026-update/.